I’d like to thank my friends Talaat and Tai from His and Her Money.com for contributing this guest post! When it comes to marriage and finance, they have great insight and advice. Today they are tackling the question, “Should couples have separate bank accounts”?
Have you ever wondered what the key is to a successful and prosperous marriage is? We’ll let you in on a little secret, right up front. The one thing that you need to have the marriage of your dreams can be summed up in one single word, Unity.
The Bible clearly states in the book of Ephesians that “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” When we said our wedding vows to each other, we made a covenantal agreement before God.
All too often though, many marriages operate more on a contractual agreement instead of a covenantal bond. There is no place where this is shown more clearly, then in the way married couples operate financially. However, many couples are willing to unite as one in every area of their marriage EXCEPT their finances.
More often than not, marriages today tend to operate under the philosophy of having, “His & Her Money”. The husband has his money to live life with, while the wife has her secret stash that allows her to do what she pleases. Instead of having the entirety of their income together, they pool parts of it together to pay bills and keep the rest for themselves. Where is the unity in that?
That sounds more like a business partnership, instead of covenantal union. Marriage shouldn’t be about two people negotiating their way through life, but instead it should be two people doing life together on one accord. This is especially true when it comes to their money.
At no point have we operated with anything other than a unified front financially. From day one, every single penny that has entered into our household has been combined. There are three essential reasons that having shared bank accounts is crucial for your marriage and we’ll outline them for you.
Having shared bank accounts fosters a sense of transparency that all marriage benefits from. When husbands and wives choose to have their money separate, it leaves room for secrecy which is the enemy of every marriage.
Spouses that campaign for independent funds of their own; may really be saying that there are things that they want to do with their money, that they don’t want the other to know about. If you can’t allow yourself to be transparent with your spouse about your finances, then what other areas of your life are you willing to withhold? Instead, by unifying your finances you leave no room for opacity to cloud the bond that you share with each other.
Another great benefit to having shared bank accounts is that it fosters healthy communication in marriage. Good communication is the life blood that keeps every marriage flowing properly. Putting your money together allows you to budget together and create financially dreams and goals together. These are the very types of conversations that husbands and wives need to be having on a regular basis to help create a marriage filled with unity. Communicating regularly about your money with each other allows you both to be on the same page and heading in the same direction.
When you really boil it down, having separate bank accounts in a marriage really comes down to an issue of trust. Somewhere either overtly or covertly there is some mistrust that is not being dealt with appropriately.
Having shared bank accounts, forces you both to deal with those trust issues head on. Money and marriage are two big topics by themselves. To put those two heavyweights together for intents and purposes takes a great deal of trust. When you put your finances together, you are telling yourself and your spouse that you trust them with something that’s very important to you. Having your money separated from your spouse says the very opposite.
If transparency, communication, and trust are no big deal to you then carry on. However, if you know that these are elements that are missing from your marriage then make some changes today. The only healthy marriage is a unified one. Unity in its truest since happens when every area of your life is brought together in unison with your spouse. This, without question, includes your finances. Having your money joined together with your spouse, is a surefire way to adding a solid building block to the foundation of your marriage.
Talaat and Tai are a married couple of three beautiful children, who blog over at HisandHerMoney.com. His and Her Money is a journey of how two high school sweethearts fell in love, got married, but were total opposites when it came to handling their finances. They now show people how to manage money, marriage and everything in between!
Kim Anderson is the organized chaos loving author behind the Thrifty Little Mom Blog. She helps other people who thrive in organized chaos to stress less, remember more and feel in control of their time, money, and home. Kim is the author of: Live, Save, Spend, Repeat: The Life You Want with the Money You Have. She’s been featured on Time.com, Money.com, Good Housekeeping, Women’s Day, and more!